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Out of the Mouths of Babes: Oren Henn’s ‘Pearls of Orenism’

Written on January 20, 2016 by Staff Reporter

Categories: Public Records Archive 2016

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SAGE, SCHOLAR, PROPHET? — Warsaw Community High School English teacher, poet and musician Steve Henn, left, has collected his son Oren’s sayings on Twitter, Oren@PearlsofOrenism. They run the gamut from fart jokes to physics. For example, “I wish that Christmas was the slowest day on Earth. But every day has to be the same speed.” His father’s beard is also a frequent subject. “If you had a mustache made of water you would never need to get a drink because you could just lick your mustache,” he said during this interview. (Photo by David Hazledine)
SAGE, SCHOLAR, PROPHET? — Warsaw Community High School English teacher, poet and musician Steve Henn, left, has collected  son Oren’s sayings on Twitter, Oren@PearlsofOrenism. They run the gamut from jokes to physics. For example, “I wish that Christmas was the slowest day on Earth. But every day has to be the same speed.” His father’s beard is also a frequent subject. “If you had a mustache made of water you would never need to get a drink because you could just lick your mustache,” he said during this interview. (Photo by David Hazledine)

WARSAW — At first it was just an in-joke amongst the Henn family of Warsaw, “We should get Oren a Twitter account!” Oren Henn, a 6-year-old first-grader at Lincoln Elementary School in Warsaw, is the youngest of four children of Steve Henn, a writer and English teacher at Warsaw Community High School. Steve and his three daughters, Zaya, Frannie and Lucy, got such a kick out of his “Orenisms,” however, the joke became a reality.

The family was on one of its regular hikes in the woods of Winona Lake when Oren exclaimed, “I wish there was a gumball machine out here.” “I just said, ‘that’s it!’ It was just such an absurd image,” Henn explained.

Since Oren was around 3, Henn had been relating his son’s sayings on Facebook and in emails to family and friends. “People had reacted positively to his Facebook quotes,” so he decided to collect them on a Twitter account, Oren@PearlsofOrenism.

There were plenty to choose from: “When I eat bacon my spit tastes like bacon. That’s why I drink my spit when I eat bacon.” “Infinity minutes aren’t minutes they just keep coming and coming.” “Dad, what’s a hipster? Is it a type of animal?” “Did you know tomorrow’s happening right now, in another dimension?”

The tweets range from philosophical to scatological to eschatological. In an example of the latter Oren asked his dad, “Can you pass on this road?” When Dad said no he replied, “Unless there’s a zombie apocalypse!”

Henn makes sure to quote his son verbatim. “I try to maintain the integrity of the statements,” he said. He also regularly adds context, such as who Oren is talking to, often one of his sisters.

“He just says it out of the blue,” said sister Frannie. “It’s really cute.” Indeed, Oren is still having trouble pronouncing Rs and Ls and has lost a few baby teeth in front, adding to the adorability factor in person. His father had to translate most of the answers to my questions.

Oren is a Tiger Cub Scout who enjoys sports, especially football, soccer, basketball and baseball. “It’s fun to hit balls with a bat,” he observed. A Chicago Cubs fan, Oren once tried to make his own team jersey with a white T-shirt and some blue markers.

When he grows up he’d like to be a fireman, a cop or possibly what he calls a “fire cop,” a combination of the two. He’d also like to be a scientist, according to his Twitter page, “because they make magic potions.” One of his favorite animals is the narwhal because, he said, “it has a horn like a unicorn.” In a more surreal Tweet, Steve asked him, “What is consciousness?” Oren replied, “Consciousness is swimming in the ocean with narwhals.”

Oren has around 100 followers. Besides friends and family, Henn’s students also enjoy the “Orenisms.” “I’ll write current ones on the white board,” he said.

One’s favorite Orenism depends on his or her sensibilities. There’s something for everyone. Here’s a sweet one about a magic eight-ball: “I asked it if my Dad loves me and it said no. This thing doesn’t work.”

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